Saturday, March 3, 2012

Burned Out: 5 Cures for dating burnout

5 cures for dating burnout
By: Denise Young

I have talk to many of guys and girls about dating. And everyone says the same thing about the oppose sex,lol we are so burned out from dating! “Dating stinks” every time someone asks, “How’s your love life?” and when people offer to introduce you to new prospects, you say, “What’s the point?!” Yup, that means you are officially burned out on the merry-go-round of looking for your perfect match. The good news is, it’s just as easy to clear your head of the negativity and get back into the swing of things. Here are five strategies tried and tested by relationship experts and real people like you from across the country.(
 Here are some tips that might cure the heart in the dating process.

Cure #1: Broaden your horizons
“When I’m dating, I don’t have a lot of time to do new things because all my spare time goes to the guy,” says Stephanie, 27, from Marietta, GA. But when she’s between boyfriends and tired of the dating scene, Stephanie purposely makes time for a prized hobby, which has so far included such ventures as taking continuing-ed classes and guitar lessons. Instead of lamenting her time off the market, Stephanie sees projects like these as ways to increase her self-esteem and confidence once she does decide to date again. “Investing that time developing myself means that whenever I do find Mr. Right, I’m extra awesome!” she says. Plus, immersing yourself in something other than the singles scene gives you a chance to recharge your dating batteries.

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Cure #2: Stop expecting every date to be The One
When you’re frustrated at your inability to find the perfect man, the first thing you should do is stop looking for him. “Dating shouldn’t be like your job — dating should be for fun,” says Patti Feinstein, a Chicago-area relationship expert who bills herself as America’s Dating Coach. “Many women spend their lives looking for love, but lots of men see it as an afterthought,” she explains. In other words, if a man finds love on date #99 out of 100 fun dates, he’s going to consider himself lucky; meanwhile, a woman beats herself up for having 99 “failed” dates instead. So stop measuring your love life in terms of whether or not you have a boyfriend and go on tons of dates with the sole intention of simply enjoying yourself. Yes, meeting new people, trying out new restaurants and activities and getting to know different sorts of personalities should be your goal instead of focusing on finding The One. You’ll have more successful dates — and feel less frustrated.

Cure #3: Veg out and recharge your emotional batteries
Sometimes, dating burnout happens because you’ve been over-scheduling yourself to attend every party, lecture, reading, gallery opening and softball game you hear about. Take a breather. If you’re of the couch-potato variety and want a way to get your mind off your heart, catch up on a TV series by renting the DVD sets. “When I’m bummed about my love life, I’ll watch my Friends DVDs,” says Caroline, 24, from Charleston, SC. “If women that hot have a hard time with guys, I don’t feel so alone!” she says. Multiple seasons mean you can spend — literally — dozens of hours while watching the shows you’ve always wanted to see from the beginning, and you also get new conversation fuel with fan-friends. And even if you’re watching a gritty drama like Breaking Bad or Dexter that in no way reminds you of romance, you’re likely to grow a little crush on one of the characters. The interesting lesson in that? If you like an actor whom you didn’t know about last week, who knows how many guys in real life are out there waiting for you to discover?

Cure #4: Find a new crowd to explore
When dating burnout strikes, you may be burning out on the gang you hang with socially. Maybe it’s time to broaden your circle. Try this technique: “List three things you’re passionate about, and then throw yourself into those three activities,” says Feinstein. The only rule? “It can’t be a solo activity — try something like taking up Texas Hold ’Em Poker!” If you love reading, join a book club; if you run, join a half-marathon training group, and so on. “Any person who does this is going to meet new people while losing him- or herself in the activity.”

Cure #5: Take a break from dating altogether
If you really want to meet someone, says Feinstein, swear off dating completely for three months. It sounds counter-intuitive, but Feinstein has seen it work time and time again. “Once you take the pressure off yourself and start to have a life again, people want to be around you and you’ll wind up going on more dates than you ever did when you were trying to date,” she explains. When you’re on the prowl, other single folk can read your interest in finding a relationship as desperation — and that turns them off. But when you’re just being yourself, people will love you for that very reason, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by brand-new options. Why not try it and see if it works?

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