Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Relationship Wednesday: Will your Man Cheat?
What if you could find out if your man is at a higher risk for infidelity before you married him? Dr. Phil and his panel of medical experts discuss the new science behind a cheater’s brain and what can be done if your loved one is at a higher risk. Author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Body, Dr. Daniel Amen, author of Insatiable Wives, clinical psychologist Dr. David Ley, Claremont University’s Dr. Paul Zak and author of The Male Brain, neuro-psychiatrist Dr. Louann Brizendine explain how you can discern a man’s risk for infidelity and the treatment options to lower his risk:
Indicators that Your Man is at a Higher Risk for Cheating:
A shorter version of the vasopressin receptor gene: Scientists discovered that in prairie voles and humans, monogamous males have a long version of the vasopressin receptor gene — the gene that’s been dubbed the “cheater gene” — and males who are promiscuous or stay bachelors have a shorter version.
A low number of Oxytocin receptors: Oxytocin is a chemical that causes you to trust other people and form strong bonds. Men with a low number of Oxytocin receptors are less likely to form strong bonds and committed relationships and are at a higher risk of cheating.
Length of ring finger compared to pointer finger: The length of a man’s ring finger is linked to testosterone in utero and during puberty. A longer ring finger means more testosterone, and the increased likelihood of a greater number of sex partners and a higher risk of cheating.
Facial symmetry and size of jaw: If one side of a man’s face matches the other side, is symmetrical, the more it is an indicator to women that that man has high genetic value. Men whose faces are more [symmetrical] are more likely to have more partners because more women want to have their children.
Size of penis: If a male is well-endowed, that means more testosterone and a higher risk of cheating.
Brain injuries: Men with a history of engaging in impact sports like football or martial arts, or men who’ve had a history of concussions are at a higher risk. Also, men with disorders like ADD or bipolar disorder have low pre-frontal cortex activity or hyper-frontal activity, which could mean less ability to stop impulsive behaviors, like cheating.
History of infidelity in past relationships: The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior.
Family history of cheating: If his father cheated, that behavior may have been modeled to him
A relationship that starts with cheating is likely to end with cheating
Lack of sexual satisfaction at home/Mismatched libido
Placing yourself in high-risk situations: Excitement-seeking, adrenaline-junkie behavior
Husband who doesn’t touch, engage or spend time with family
How to Lower the Risk:
Treat the problems — ADD/bipolar disorder/brain injury
Get better sleep
Watch blood sugar
Boost serotonin to calm down compulsive part
Increase dopamine to control impulsive part
Decrease caffeine/energy drinks
Neuro-feedback to strengthen function in frontal lobe
Stop contact sports/martial arts or any activity that involves impacts to the head
Focus on brain health
Open communication with partner
Ensure sexual satisfaction at home
Avoid high-risk situations
Raise Oxytocin levels: Touch/hug, spend time together, reduce distractions, deep breathing, build trust and empathy
If you have any questions about this topic you can go to www.dr.phil.com!