Thursday, April 24, 2014
Are you being too picky? Dating Tips
When you have not had a meaningful relationship for a while, it is natural to start wondering why. Have you ever wondered if the man of your dreams may not even exist? Perhaps you are being too picky. Should you lower your standards? Are your expectations realistic?
There are all kinds of wonderful single men out there. Women who complain that there are no worthwhile men to date often have a bad case of Tunnel Vision. While there is no reason to settle for someone you do not like or are not attracted to, a reality check on your expectations may widen your scope of available men.
If your ideal “type” is a 6 foot tall professional man, would you consider dating a 5’6 janitor if he had a great sense of humor and a lot of common interests?
Are you only willing to date men within a certain age range, ethnicity, religion, height or income bracket? If so, you exclude a huge number of potentially eligible suitors. If you only want to date within a certain age range, expanding that 5 years in each direction can open up your scope immensely.
The bias against dating younger men is nothing new. While the “cougar syndrome” is becoming more common these days, many women still would not consider dating a younger man. A fit attractive man in his fifties, dating a woman in her thirties is hardly noticeable. Yet turn that equation around and it’s a different story. Some women consider a guy even 3 or 4 years younger than themselves “robbing the cradle”. Younger men can be great fun, energetic and passionate lovers
While it is natural to have some general preferences, if you can describe your potential mate down to physical traits such as height and eye color, you are being too picky about things that ultimately don’t matter. You can increase your chances of finding a wonderful man by being willing to date all types.
Remember a date is just a date. If you go out with a new guy with the expectation that you will get to know him and have fun, that is an easy goal to achieve. If you go out expecting him to be Mr Right, that is too much pressure for both of you.
Take the pressure off. Try dating some guys that you would never have considered to be your â€œtypeâ€ before. You do not have to marry them, or sleep with them. Just date them. One date does not mean you are exclusive. Let them be themselves without judging them against your “ideal”. You never know who will surprise you.
If they don’t, fine. What have you really lost? At least it is a chance to practice your dating skills, and perhaps make a new friend.
People tend to attract those that are like themselves or who fill a void in their lives. If you want to know the types of people who will approach you, take a look in the mirror. If you do not like the types of men who are making contact, consider a change of image. If you are attracting slobs, upgrade your wardrobe.
If you are attracting players, your image may be too provocative. It is easy to conclude that there are no good single men. However the types of men that are available to you has everything to do with the image you project.
As a women, it is natural to be somewhat selective. Attraction is important. Otherwise what you have is a platonic friendship. However, Mr. Right can take any physical form. Having a shopping list of physical non-negotiables is a good way to remain alone. Online dating sites are full of single men looking for love.
You will increase your chances of finding Mr. Right if you are not searching for Mr. Perfect. Stay open to new possibilities, be the woman of your dreams and Mr. Right will find you.