Saturday, December 8, 2012

Advice: How do you trust?

The longer you are in a relationship; odds are distrust will occur at some point. You need to understand where these feelings are coming from first and foremost. It's easy to blame your partner and put unhealthy demands on them. You may even think they are cheating when they are not. This article will explore how to build trust back in a relationship and techniques to ensure that you make love last.
Often times when the negative feelings arise, some people actually begin to place unrealistic demands and restrictions upon their partner. This can have a very negative effect on the relationship and can actually begin its end. In every relationship, both parties need time by themselves, with friends and obviously together.
One of the worst things you can do is to remove a person's sense of individuality and freedom to grow as a person. This will only make your partner feel trapped. This will destroy your partners trust and confidence in themselves and they may even grow to think that there is no other way to make you feel happy in the relationship.
The most effective way to build trust back in a relationship is to take a moment and begin to understand some of the common traits of healthy relationships and what it really means to make love last.
To love someone does not mean to own or possess them. This is not loving and is very disrespectful to them. Instead we are simply objectifying them and using then to meet our needs. We do not love that person when we use them in such a fashion.
Trust must be developed in ourselves and our partners from within. If for whatever reason your partner does not deserve trust, then restricting their behavior will not help at all. It will worsen the matter considerably. The person will enter a state of rebellion and will subconsciously and consciously find ways to sabotage the relationship in order to regain a sense of the lost freedom.
Many people come of past relationship where they were cheated on or hurt in some manner and have not come to terms with what happened. As a consequence, they project these feelings have hurt and insecurity upon their current partner. A new relationship will never heal old wounds. Each person must take the responsibility to work through these feelings and realize that their current partner is different as well as the situation and relationship.
There are many techniques you can use to build up or self esteem. Ones emotionally state must be cultivated each and every day much in the same manner that you exercise physically each day. You need to work each day to become stronger emotionally and build strength in order to fight through the feelings of fear and negativity. One technique I use constantly is to meditate each day on the positive aspects of your partner as well as myself. When you feel the negative feelings creep in, take a step back, take a deep breath and focus again on the good that is in the both of you. This is how you can begin to restore balance, calm and ultimately start to build trust back in the relationship.
The idea with this exercise is not to ignore reality, but instead to focus and be aware of what is really going on. If you are in the unfortunate situation where your partner does not deserve of your trust or as betrayed you in some way, by you remaining calm and positive you will be able to make healthier and more constructive choices for yourself.
I have found many resources on online designed to help you to Build Trust back in to your relationship.
For more top notch advice on How to Build Trust in a Relationship
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