Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Kind Of Girl A Guy Marries

By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
When I was in college and dating there always seemed to be drama in the relationships. Every time I thought I possibly had “the one” it turned out to be “the wrong one.” I convinced myself that we were all too young anyway to find “the one” in college. College dating was supposed to be all about fun, nothing serious. So why did I keep thinking that I would find my future husband there? I wasn’t crazy, I had heard of couples meeting in college, falling in love and getting married. I guess none of those people attended my university. I went with the flow and just dated. Even though in the back of my mind, I still wondered if I was with the one, but I never verbalized it.
Then one day, the dating aspect flipped on me when a boyfriend described me as the kind of girl a guy marries, not someone for “right now.” He went on further to explain how I was a sweet girl and the type that a man settles down with, when he’s ready to get married. He admitted he wasn’t close to being ready to get married. Needless to say that was the end of our dating relationship as he proved more interested in being involved with multiple women at that time. Although I didn’t appreciate it then, I did accept what I now know was a compliment. I had often heard men say there are only certain types of women invited home to meet their mother. I would guess these are the types of women they marry as well.
Years later this conversation resurfaced with a dear friend who wondered about the type of woman a man marries. This friend felt like she wasn’t the type of woman that men normally marry; proclaiming her independence, and constant struggle in her relationships with allowing her man to feel like a man. She questioned rather or not she would take that two-step down the aisle anytime soon. I’ll tell you as I told her, I do believe the type of person you are matters a great deal in the type of relationship and marriage you will have. However, I don’t believe there is just one type of woman that a guy marries. I told her that she would find a man who would love her just as she was. The truth is there is a man looking for that sweet, traditional woman to settle down with just as there is a man who wants that feisty independent woman to marry.
BMWK, do you find there is generally a certain type of woman that men tend to marry?

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