Staring at Katy Perry Could Cost You Your Job

It's very rare for a tour rider to make an artist look good. It is, after all, the rundown of provisions a performer requires on the road, and even Mr. Rogers' list of demands might come off selfish and neurotic. But in some instances, requests on tour riders are so outlandish, so obnoxious, they become legendary. Van Halen had a rule about brown M&Ms. Axl Rose needed Wonder Bread. And Katy Perry has a line item about carnations: "ABSOLUTELY NO CARNATIONS."Unless coming into contact with a carnation will cause the 26-year-old singer seizures or death, Perry's specifications about the flowers in her dressing room are a little extreme. But that's nothing compared to the rules governing her drivers that came to light yesterday when a six-page excerpt of her 45-page rider hit the Smoking Gun. According to the document drawn up for her California Dreams World Tour, drivers chauffeuring Perry are not permitted to open doors, touch bags, or "stair at the backseat thru the rearvieuw mirrow" (that rule was so exciting, whoever typed it up mangled it beyond recognition). Furthermore, the driver will not start a conversation with Perry, speak to her guests or fans, ask for autographs, speak on the phone, or drive anywhere other than the left lane on highways. In total, there are 23 bullet points on the page marked "Principle Driver Policy." Perry's reps have not responded to a request for comment at press time.

While many of the requests for Perry's dressing rooms are pretty standard (tea, fresh fruit, chips and salsa), and one is even awesome (she outfits her team with Sigg water bottles to reduce waste), there is a provision in the part of the rider that addresses tickets that is particularly off-putting. On page 17, Perry's team asks for promoters to set aside seats for her "Personal Manager" to resell via secondary ticket vendors, adding Katy's crew isn't required to share any of the profits with the promoter. That means Perry's people are selling a handful of tickets directly to fans via the legendarily inflated secondary-ticket market -- the market artists like Bruce Springsteen have condemned -- and pocketing the profits. That's unflattering -- not as unflattering as the photo Perry picked for her hilarious "Last Friday Night" remix cover, but it's not a good look.