Affair-Proof Your Marriage

You can't control your partner's behavior, but you don't have to set yourself up to get hurt either. Inoculate yourself against infidelity by making sure you're attentive, involved and plugged in to your marriage.

Suspect Your Partner is Having an Affair?
Remember that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Look for the common sense warning signs: A shift in patterns, accessibility, money, reliability and secrecy. A sudden great interest in grooming or dress, going to the gym, or putting on cologne. Also, remember not to accuse your partner because of unhealthy jealousy, which could hurt the trust.

If You Are Having Problems:

Turn toward your partner " not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. All that does is create problems.

Don't play games in your head. It is a short step from thought to action.

Don't confuse reality with fantasy. We often forget that there's a difference between falling in love and being in love. You can't expect a love that grows to be like it was on the first date.

If you want to have a good partner, be a good partner. Put 100 percent into your marriage.

Is your marriage in a rut? "Bored people are boring," says Dr. Phil. Find a passion, get energized, find some time together to rediscover the love and commitment you have for one another.

Work on your marriage every single day " not just during the bad times. Wake up each day and ask yourself, "What can I do today that will make my marriage better."

Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship. If you've gotten off track, it's never too late to get back to a better place.

Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise and look your best. Feeling good about yourself will radiate and your spouse will notice.

Formula For Success:

1. Your relationship must be based on a solid, underlying friendship. Friends talk, laugh, share, and do things they're interested in together. Don't stop being friends just because you're each other's spouse.

2. Your relationship has to meet the needs of the two people involved. Understand what your partner's needs are so you can meet them. Figure out what your own needs are and communicate them. If your needs are not being met, communicate and negotiate. Don't let resentment build